Less than Twelve Parsecs

It's a bit unnerving to get out of the house for a walk during enforced social distancing when you have young kids (4-6) who are crazy energetic but forgetful and would not easily tolerate face masks. How do you keep them away from passersby without constant nagging? Today, we had a brilliant approach: short-leash kite flying! What you need: - small kite, 5-6ft long handle-to-tail (see bottom of post) - windy day - kids. It worked out wonderfully, every person instinctively gave us a wide berth, trying to avoid a fluttering kite tail in their face. The kids had a natural constant reminder to stay away from others - they don't want their kite all tangled up! Plus I've had the most fun with kites as I've had in years - thank you,  Aeolus ! Here I am with Fae, we were flying the story kite for the first part of the walk, until Gaius's original kite got its wing broken and we swapped with him: The kites are geniusly simple, from a Kiwi Crate we ha...

If you'd ask me, I'd say we pretty much know what we're doing. Greg and I pondered for over a year about this decision of having a third child. We took it very seriously, and got full consensus agreement within the family (us and the two kids) on whether this is the right thing to do. The cat didn't get a vote. A year later, I can thoroughly say it was indeed the right decision: our family feels complete and happy and wonderful! Thank you, Fae for making it so! The wiggles and giggles and smiles and adventures are all upon us, from morning till night. At 7am, whichever combination of two-out-of-three kids is awake first, they're together smiling and holding hands. Usually one is pulling another's hair, or trying to munch on their thumbs. Yesterday I returned from the restroom to find the children victoriously showing me Fae's sleep sack, that they had just taken off of her all by themselves! Gaius made a specia...

We're in the car, trying to go to our friend's bday party. Gaius and Mara went ahead with Greg, Fae stayed behind with me to get her tummy full and happiness up.  After a good feed there's nothing better than sitting in Mommy's lap, getting ready for a healthy burp. She's quiet and happy and with that genuinely full-of-milk face, eyes half closed, shoulders slumping to rest this little giant head onto Mommy's hand. The sun is setting on our left and the light is so intense that I face her carefully the other way. Do babies even know not to look straight at the sun? I won't chance it.. It takes about 10 seconds till all of a sudden her eyes get big:  Oh My God, it's full of trees! I can't take enough of the surprised look on her face, this is the first time she sees giant pine trees at sunset, against a bright clear blue sky. So I sit and stare at this baby, who is staring at trees. Just basking in it, because of this feeling that it just ...

There's nothing sweeter that a sleeping baby in your arms. That gentle warmth that builds up between your body and theirs. How she sprawls her body onto yours in a feeling of complete abandon, going utterly limp, arms akimbo.  She gives you the gift of half a giggle in her sleep - not a full one, mind you, because her dream has already moved onto a dreamier land. And you smile and try to imagine: what would a baby really dream of? And you dream along with her... In those moments you realize that she trusts you completely, to care for her and protect her into eternity. And you realize you will, with all your power and for as long as you possibly can. I guess that's why they call it Baby Bonding .

Mara is about to turn 6. Just a few more weeks until the happy date, but she's already there mentally and physically. This summer she went: Kayaking at camp - first in her age group to kayak on her own without an adult during this whole summer, according to her camp instructors Biking on mountain trails - yes, she started biking with no training wheels after several months of sparse strider bike rides, and is so smooth at it now! Stand-up paddleboarding ( SUPing at Shoreline Lake ) which I've personally never even attempted. Greg got his opportunity to try it for the first time just this week, same location, with his coworkers. Horseback riding on Wizard who is a 30yo mare at Garrod Ranch . She can read piano music and play several songs with two hands on it - whenever she's patient and rested enough :-). She figured out the notes of "Doe, a Deer" and wrote them on sheet music one afternoon. Can swim end-to-end in the pool at swim class in a bunch of dif...

First time at Gilroy Gardens : gorgeous setting, sunny day, happy kids, and guns that shoot bubbles. A gun that makes bubbles. What could go wrong? Relax, you're in good hands. I dare you. Shoot me! Shot. Gaius: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Mara: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Gaius kept coming back here to see the waterfall, each time more enthusiastic.  Assassin stance. This was totally spontaneous, and to our knowledge she has not had exposure to these sort of toys before. Scary good.  Mara's very first ride on her own without a parent.  This ferris wheel turned out to be very high up - gorgeous view of the mountains. However, at the end of the ride they stopped us at the top for several minutes which was unnerving with this wiggly one trying to climb out. Very fun ride in rotating cups on the river. We were not sure if Gaius would sit strapped in on his own, but he did wonderfully!

Early Wednesday morning, 8:26 am, Jun 8 2016 In the middle hallway upstairs, two kids and a Mommy are sitting on the carpet, slowly getting ready for the day. The kids are mostly naked so the 'getting ready' part is slow indeed. Greg mumbles something from far away; I tell him I can't hear and I'm with the kids. Mara , eagerly: I 'll watch Gaius!! In demonstration of her strong " I " emphasis, she stands up and leans slightly forward toward him with an obvious intent to "watch". Gaius looks up at her and declares with equal emphasis:  Baah!! Mara: Where is the Ball , Gaius? He twists his upper body in a wide arch to the left, pointing with a straight arm, hand and index finger to Mara's room. Mara: I 'll get the ball, Gaius!! She runs in that direction. Gaius gets up and follows her. Mommy gets up and goes the opposite direction to get her toothbrush. <3 --- ** Editor's Note: There are a lot of excla...

Gaius, dear, let's face it. You're not a baby anymore. In a matter of weeks you have turned from a warm cuddly huggy bear, albeit with sneak-attack octopus arms, into a highly opinionated sovereign. I'm talking about that haughty stance of yours when I'm holding you in my arms and you start showing me which way to go next. You don't point. I've understood by now that pointing is a tool of the uneducated masses, and you are far above that. You majestically raise your right arm, palm upheld to the sky as if saying: "Thus spreads my domain, and I shall travel to it in your arms. Presently." I'm talking about your dignified walk in the evenings, when we try to put your footie pajamas on. The sleeves make it onto your arms, then you immediately take off to check what Mara is doing in her room, the pajama's footies dragging gently behind you like a trailing royal cape. Hail, Gaius. Now, drop that diaper and start making you...

Books: Title: Penny Simkin's  Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn Tags:   during pregnancy, birth process, medical reference Great reference book throughout pregnancy and especially near the end when a lot more weird stuff starts to happen to the mom. The tone is matter-of-fact rather than baby-ish/cutesie/condescending, as we found in plenty of other books on the topic. We used this to get mentally prepared for the birth and having a tiny baby in our inexperienced care. Our copy has a lot of 'ear marks'. We mentioned this book in a small note on the 'aftermath', which apparently nobody seems to discuss until you're actually going through it. Title: Baby Knows Best  by Deborah Carlisle Solomon Tags:   RIE, respectful parenting, teaching focus  Based on Magda Gerber's teachings, RIE parenting started in LA and is followed by a bunch of celebrities, here's an instructor's perspective . It is also very close to the philosophy ap...

Mommy: How do you want to fall asleep for your nap today? Mara [eyebrows furrowed in concern]: I do not want to sleep. Mommy: When Daddy finishes eating, it is nap time. You can either go on a stroller ride, or read books in bed. How do you want to fall asleep? Mara [continued look of concern]: I do not want to choose. Well, there goes that parenting strategy...

Gaius has been making three signs for several weeks: 1. Up (he does a variation of it with both arms) 2. Tree 3. Lamp Mara recently noticed that Mommy will point at a street light and make the " Lamp " sign, which caused some long Mommy-Mara conversations where we disagreed. She says those are " Lights ", not " Lamps ". Mommy believes we can use the same sign for something that produces light. The matter is still open. Today, Gaius and Mommy were on a walk to buy milk. Gaius loves trees. And lamps. Whenever he sees a big tree he'll "bring it up" in conversation by making the sign. When he sees a street light he does the cutest "Lamp" sign: right arm up high, then curls the wrist toward his eyebrow. ASL sign for: Tree ASL sign for: Lamp You can see in the pictures (source:  www.babysignlanguage.com ) that the two signs are quite similar, especially with a baby's lack of precision. Because of that, sometim...

Mara: I don't like you. I open my eyes, groggy. I had fallen asleep next to Mara in her bed trying to help her fall asleep. It's still night time. Based on past times, assuming 2-4am. Mara: No. I can't stop crying. Oh she's sleep talking. OK. Good, I don't want to have to do things. I'm so tired. Mara : I don't like you. Hrm. I wonder what's happening in her dream right now. Mara : I don't like you, Mommy. [Silence...] I realize my whole chest is tight. Nothing moves, and that's odd. Oh, I need to breathe, that's it. Reason slowly trickles back in, along with the oxygen: she probably doesn't mean that.  There's a gentle leg kick on my arm, followed by a slightly more anxious: Mara : I don't LIKE you, Mommy. What?! Did I do anything last night to cause this? What did I say? Darn sweet husband of mine being all awesome compared to me. I need to ramp up my game tomorrow. Really. What d...

We spent our Christmas Day out near Muir Woods this year. We caught a perfect day at the Golden Gate photo spot on the way to the Woods, yet didn't seem to capture any good photos with us and the bridge in it. Still, had a great time chasing Mara around. At Muir Woods, we realized others had had the same idea, so parking was impossible. Greg had to bite the bullet and drop us off. Luckily we got on the main path right on time for their guided tour. We learned five life stories from the Redwoods: - Support your Community : redwoods "hold hands" with their neighbors through their flat root system - Stand Tall : tallest living organism. - Surround Yourself with Family : when stressed, trees spawn clones of themselves; after the mother tree dies out a "family circle" remains in its place. - Live in a Cool Place : redwoods are very choosy on where to grow: wind, fire, weather, temperatures, humidity, all have to be juuuust right. - Have Thick Skin : ...