Recommended Resources

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Books:

Tags: during pregnancy, birth process, medical reference
  • Great reference book throughout pregnancy and especially near the end when a lot more weird stuff starts to happen to the mom.
  • The tone is matter-of-fact rather than baby-ish/cutesie/condescending, as we found in plenty of other books on the topic.
  • We used this to get mentally prepared for the birth and having a tiny baby in our inexperienced care. Our copy has a lot of 'ear marks'.
  • We mentioned this book in a small note on the 'aftermath', which apparently nobody seems to discuss until you're actually going through it.

Title: Baby Knows Best by Deborah Carlisle Solomon
Tags: RIE, respectful parenting, teaching focus 
  • Based on Magda Gerber's teachings, RIE parenting started in LA and is followed by a bunch of celebrities, here's an instructor's perspective. It is also very close to the philosophy applied at the Google Daycare centers where Mara and Gaius go.
  • RIE reminds you that your baby is a person with tremendous learning skills.
  • We started reading it around month 2-3 of our first baby, and it shaped our parenting for good. This is what helped us have a very laid back attitude about parenting, trusting that babies are actually very smart and learn a ton from mistakes, so you should allow them to do all their experimenting in a safe environment. It also teaches you to encourage focus in the baby, observe rather than distract etc. 

Tags: baby development, fun facts
  • Things that have proven to help with brain development in the early years, as well as some myths busted.
  • Contains some anecdotes of studies with interesting outcomes. E.g. playing Mozart in utero has no influence on baby's IQ. There is a strong correlation between parents talking to their child a lot very early on and the kids' vocabulary a few years in. The marshmallow study - where kids that could show self restraint for delayed gratification would turn up to be much more likely to get higher education when they grow up.

Title: Becky Bailey's I Love You Rituals
Tags: relationship building, dealing with 'bad' behaviors
  • An interesting take on parent-child relationship development. The idea is that you develop a series of fun games you consistently do with your child, to show unconditional love: no matter what they do, they still have your love and complete attention at specific parts of the day. If you fill the child's need for attention at a time that is right for you, they will not ask for it by throwing fits in an inconvenient moment. They build a bond, and can help you reconnect in a time of need.
  • They work on different ages; I applied these principles with my little brother Mihut for a few months when he was visiting and saw a big improvement in how he responded and cooperated throughout the day.

Classes:

Class: Heather Ward's birthing / baby care classes
Location: (SF Bay Area)
  • These are the absolute best classes about labor/child birth; we went to two other classes in parallel and the others were just a waste of time.
  • Heather is very knowledgeable and backs up all statements with actual research studies. She has a lot of awesome advice as well, and a bunch of resources free on her website on birth, baby care and feeding etc.
  • We probably could not have managed to do a natural, no-pain-management birth without her support and we are so thankful to the two couples that had babies before us and told us about her class. A great birthing experience is the perfect way to start a family.
Class: Music Together
Location: United States; quality varies a lot with the teacher (we recommend Jen Miller)
  • This research-based music program is proven to support musical development in kids and is spread internationally. Music learning is correlated with higher abstract reasoning / math skills.
  • Helps negotiate with unruly kids. The philosophy goes together with I Love You Rituals (see the Books section in this same post): you and your baby share a common experience, music making. This is the basis of negotiation. After going through several seasons of classes there is a song for every type of activity you would be doing with your child (bath, going in the car, dressing, cooking, eating etc). When your kid acts up, start singing the song and you are instantly brought to cooperation-land!
    Note: This was also confirmed from another mother of two who has gone through the whole program and told us it was the best thing she could have done for her family.
  • Just as with RIE parenting, this class does not ask you to "make your baby do ___  ". They simply ask the parents to jointly create music, while babies take the music in as they wish. It's so wonderful to see after several weeks that some babies choose to join in naturally.
  • Most of the songs are quite pleasant for adults - no annoying nursery rhymes that drive you to insanity. The variation of rhythms, tonalities, key, voice is rich and empowering.
  • These songs made our car rides possible. Mara hated the car seat, and it became a stress on the whole family. Playing Music Together songs while in the car changed the upset to dancing.
  • Two years later, we are still loving this family tradition of Music Together and dearly recommend it.



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