Breaking All the Pandemic Rules!

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Shelter-in-place?! She's all over the place!!! Somebody should tell this little girl about the times....
She started pushing herself backwards this week so she can travel the whole length of the room until her feet touch an obstacle, then rotate and repeat.
Yeah, we're baby proofing this weekend...


And about those no-contact policies! Need to call the authorities, she loves contact, she thrives on contact! Four out of five times I look at her: someone is giving her a hug - that's SO not in the spirit of social distancing!!


I'm pretty sure she's interpreted the "keep 6 feet away from everybody" as "kick 6 feet on everybody", so she taps you and bounces indefinitely (babies can't count past three so she just goes up to whatever she considers a sufficient amount).


On wearing a mouth covering when going out in public? She found the exact opposite of that rule as well!! The last three days she's been sticking her tongue out on purpose when she smiles at you bonhomuously!
She is like a cute little lizard trying to triangulate your location by tongue-smell. Yet, due to the lack of tongue-tip bifurcation, she can't do that as well as a reptile would, even though she tries moving it back and forth. Her chemoreceptive location skill is reduced to a binary state: knowing at all times whether Mommy is in the room, or not in the room. To make sure she puts on her best and widest smile when I come in.

Don't even get me started about minimizing the number of surfaces you touch when you go out. As soon as she's out of bed, she touches everything!

On her grocery shopping trips she gets her hands all over the fresh produce isle. The nerve!
She's like a cutely odd-shaped little Roomba, navigating on seemingly random straight lines across the room, but with a secret plan to maximize the total area covered. And just like a Roomba, there's a small chance she'll choke on small objects encountered. So you have to check her projected path and pick up all hazards. We've accidentally tested out Mara's equations homework; it turns out math is not a choking hazard, she chomps it all up in small bites.


Math is not a choking hazard. It's Elementary.

The only thing she got right, really, is the wash your hands often rule. Though there's a twist to that as well: any fluid in sight is swiftly attacked with chubby grabby splashing hands. That includes bath water, cups with drinking water, avocado, ... oh, you think avocados aren't fluid? They are once she gets a hold of them...

Anyhow, next time someone is tapping at your window, make sure they know their pandemic manners. This one totally made up her own...


Annex

To showcase the dangers of such behavior, look! it's already spreading to others!

Contactless delivery clearly doesn't work!


Let's just stop and smell the freesias for a bit. With our tongue.


Comments

  1. CunhaoApril 25, 2020 at 11:22 PM

    Cute cute cute! She can do the perfect push up, that's amazing! And I like the big bite that she did on the arm!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ElenaApril 27, 2020 at 8:05 PM

      Haha, indeed! She's getting too strong for my arms now, so I give her to Greg :-)

      But this reminds us to do some planks and push-ups too - remember those metabolic classes we used to do together? I miss exercising in a structured group class... Let's do something again when all this is over!

      Delete
  2. MariannaApril 27, 2020 at 3:40 PM

    Adorable! +1 to that push up, that is so hard to do.

    ReplyDelete

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